Thursday, February 27, 2020

Was It for Lust?-An Answer about the wives of the Prophet Mohammed S.A.W

Any of those who wish to attack Islam must first attack the reputation of our beloved Prophet Mohammed (salla Allah alaihi wa sallam), as indeed has been done by the enemies of Islam since the day Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) first guided His Messenger to testify to the Oneness of God. To do so in this day and age, they often bring up the issue of multiple wives, to scare us away from seeking out more knowledge of who this man actually was who Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) chose to reveal the Qu'ran to and have him worthy enough to guide mankind in its matters.

It has always been easy for an educated historian to reply to that: Christianity and Judaism also allowed for multiple wives as King Soloman had 700 wives and over 300 slaves in the Torah and the Bible. Islam is the only religion to have put a cap on how many wives a man could have [four] and remains the only religion to say it is better to marry only one. Critics of Islam will then ask, why did the Prophet Mohammed (salla Allah alaihi wa sallam) marry more than one then?

The first wife (and first Muslim) of the Prophet Mohammed (salla Allah alaihi wa sallam), was a 40 year old twice widowed woman of great wealth and beauty belonging to the clan of Banu Hashim named Khaidijah bint Khuwaylid (may Allah be pleased with her) who was also the mother of three sons. Khadijah bint Khuwaylid was much sought after as a wife by many for both her beauty, and her wealth. By 585 CE, Khadijah was left a widow and the mother of three sons. Despite having married twice, and twice losing her husband to the ravaging wars to which Arabia was subjected, she showed no inclination to marry a third time, even though she was sought for marriage by many honorable and highly respected men of the Arabian peninsula, throughout which she was quite famous, due to her business dealings.

The Prophet Mohammed (salla Allah alaihi wa sallam) who was 15 years younger than Khadijah, was also of a noble family, but he was an orphan and was not a man of many means. He had made a meager living tending sheep in the hills surrounding the city. Yet, at 25 years old, he had an impeccable moral character, and he was widely known as one of the most honest men around, and his reputation for honesty helped his uncle Abu Talib to convice Khaidjah to hire him on with one of her caravans. She sent him one of her servants, Maysarah, who was young, brilliant, and talented, to assist him and be Mohammed's bookkeeper. She also trusted Maysarah's account regarding her new employee's conduct, an account that was most striking, indeed one that encouraged her to abandon her decision never to marry again. After he came back from his first business trip, she asked her servant, whom she sent with him, about him and his conduct. The servant amazed her by his report: this young man was the kindest, gentlest man he had ever met. Never did he treat the servant harshly, as many others do. Yet, there was more: as they traveled in the heat of the desert, the servant noticed that a cloud had followed them the entire time, shading them from the blazing sun.

With the passage of time, Khadijah's admiration for Muhammad (salla Allah alaihi wa sallam), developed into a deeper affection. Khadijah was by then convinced that she had finally found a man who was worthy of her, so much so that she initiated the marriage proposal herself, sending her sister to speak with him about marriage. She asked him, "Why are you not married, yet?" "For lack of means," he answered. "What if I could offer you a wife of nobility, beauty, and wealth? Would you be interested?" she told him. He replied in the affirmative, but when she mentioned Khadijah, the young employee chuckled in amazement. "How could I marry her?! She has turned down the most noble men in the city, much wealthier and prominent than me, a poor shepherd," he said. "Don't you worry," the sister replied, "I'll take care of it."

The Prophet Mohammed (salla Allah alaihi wa sallam), at twenty-five years of age married forty year old widowed beauty Khadijah bint Kuwaylid, and they remained married for 25 years. In a time when marriage to a woman meant taking over ownership of all her property and taking multiple wives, the Prophet (salla Allah alaihi wa sallam) never took a dinar of Khadijah's money that she did not give in a gift to him and to the cause of Islam, and he never thought of divorcing her and making off with her money to marry a younger prettier entourage (as he was legally entitled to do so in the land but NOT within the laws of Islam [so the argument that he just married her and had to be faithful to her for her money is NULL]). It wasn't until after his death that he began to consider marriage again, and when he finally agreed, it was, he said, it was because he so missed the companionship of Khadijah.

The Prophet Muhammad (salla Allah alaihi wa sallam) mourned her deeply, and even after her death, the Prophet would send food and support to Khadijah's friends and relatives, out of love for his first wife. Once, years after Khadijah died, he came across a necklace that she once wore. When he saw it, he remembered her and began to cry. His love for her never died, so much so, that his later wife, A'isha became jealous of her memory. Once she asked the Prophet if Khadijah had been the only woman worthy of his love. The Prophet replied: "She believed in me when no one else did; she accepted Islam when people rejected me; and she helped and comforted me when there was no one else to lend me a helping hand."

Much has been made and said about Prophet Muhammad's (salla Allah alaihi wa sallam), multiple marriages. There are many who smear the Prophet (salla Allah alaihi wa sallam), as a womanizing philanderer, citing his multiple marriages. This is absolute propaganda. As a response to those who malign the Prophet, as if the Prophet were anything of the sort, he would have taken advantage of his youth to do such a thing. But he did not! At a time when it was a common custom to have multiple wives, the Prophet (salla Allah alaihi wa sallam), did not marry anyone else while he was with Khadijah.

It was only two years after Khadijah died, may God be pleased with her, that he married other women. He was then 52 years old. Let us examine his other marriages. First off, all of them excepting Aisha (R.A) were widows, many with children that he had to struggle to support. For instance, Sawda (R.A), was EIGHTY YEARS OLD and a widow. One woman, Safiyah (R.A) converted to Islam and divorced her husband and no one else offered to care for her. One woman was Christian, and one was Jewish.

As for Aisha (R.A) the Prophet salla Allah alaihi wa sallam asked for her hand from Abu Bakr when she was 8 years old and in the presence of the girl's mother who agreed, and they were married when she was ten. Aisha (R.A) had her period by then (I had mine at eight years of age). One of my grandmothers got married at fifteen in 1913, and the other at sixteen in 1930....Anyways, Aisha (R.A) loved her husband very much, and she is historically documented to have expressed how much in various recorded hadith. People like to call him, astaghfurallah, a child molester, would have to accuse their own ancestors of the same thing, because if you go back a few hundred years, let alone the same century as the Prophet Mohammed's lifetime, your own ancestor's will be marrying very young. Marie Antionette of Austria/France, for example, was married at fourteen years old (as soon as she had her menstruation).


C'mon people that-- astighfurallah--- accuse the Prophet salla Allah alaihi wa sallam of being a pervert: most of these wives were widows, whom the Prophet salla Allah alaihi wa sallam married to care after them, or they were the daughters of prominent Arab chieftains, so that the Prophet could form a cohesive Muslim society out of a fiercely tribalistic Arab culture. While doing so, the Prophet Mohammed salla Allah alaihi wa sallam was very much in his old age and was being persecuted and forced out his land for nine years, tying rocks to his abdomen because of hunger from lack of food, sleeping on straw mats... Sure, he definitely needed another mouth to feed. I'm sure, at fifty+ years and nigh starving to death all he could think about was sex. I don't know if you've ever been hungry, like I mean, you haven't eaten for weeks, well, your sex drive is one of the first things to go... C'MON!!!!!!! The smears against the Prophet salla Allah alaihi wa sallam fall flat on their faces once the light of truth shines brightly upon them.

13 comments:

Desert Housewife A. (The Canadian in Jubail) said...

Asalaamu `alaikum :-)

Jazaki Allah khair for bringing this to our attention!

Luv & Miss u. Tried calling back but no reply! Update me!

Michelle Therese said...

People of the present should refrain from trashing on people, cultures and acceptable norms of the past.

I'm sure Muslims of the day of Mohammad (peace be upon him) would be horrified by our never-grow-up culture where women like me dilly around in school for 200 years, don't get married till 31 and don't have their first kid till 33! God said for us to have kids... how can I ever fulfill His holy will now that my fertility has been on the decline since the age of 26?? For all I know God might have wanted me to have a big crop of kids but I thwarted His desire by following the world and *not* getting married "young." But when you look at how we women have a very short span of years of peak fertility it makes sense to marry young!! Plus, trust me, it's not easy chucking out your first baby at 33 ~ I'm still crippled by it and I have nowhere near the energy now that I had when I started menstrating at 14!

The worst thing that ever happened for our world was the theory of evolution. Not only does it cut God out of the picture but it makes us look at history as going from "dark and bad" to "more advanced and much better." We have this stupid idea that everyone of the past was "less advanced" then us, going all the way back to knuckle-dragging half apes. So to look back at the time of the first Muslims and say, "Barbarians!" fits right into the popular way of looking at the past.

If you ask me, looking around, we've gained medical and technological advances but what good has it done for the world? Sure, we might live until 80 (supported by 75 different pills each day and drooling on ourselves, lonely and neglected, in a nursing home) and we *might* have access to good dental care if we are rich but how many souls have gone to hell because our "advances" have made us ignore God?

Which is better for us as human beings? Life more like it was in the "dark days" of the past where the majority of people loved God or our "advanced" life now where the majority of people hardly know God??

Happy Muslim Mama said...

Assalam-alaikam,
Thank you for this post. Sometimes you want to refute someone or explain something to them, but don't always have the right words. This will be useful for me.

This is one of the reasons I blog because of the sheer volume of lies, slander and nastiness (often pretending to be Islamic sites but linking back to Jewish, Christian and Hindu sites) I found on the internet right from when I started using it. This is why we need to keep posting like this insh'Allah. May Allah reward you.

Anonymous said...

ASA Sister,
Excellent post and if anyone seeks more information, although your attention to detail was superb, they should check out a CD series called "The Mothers Of The Believers" by Suhaib Webb. Masha'Allah it is a great listen!!!

Anonymous said...

salam pixoe
thanks for this post
ppl call the Prophet s.a.w. very bad names astaghfirullah
oh and its like u read my mind with that nasheed LOL
as i was reading the post (b4 i got to the end) i was thinking that i'd comment for u that theres a great nasheed called zamilooni that would go great with this post about Khadijah r.a. lol
and then i read it all nd u've already put the nasheed there lol
thanks

Anonymous said...

assalamualaikum wbt sis...jazakallahu khair for this post...subhanAllah, it's a great post...

Candice said...

That was informative. I was just wondering about the reasons for Muhammad marrying his wives. I only knew of a couple so now I have a bit of a better idea. And I wanted to learn from being an enemy of Islam.

Anonymous said...

As salaam alaykum,
Jazak Allahu khayran sister for this post! I also *love* the 2nd picture with the couple in the water. The sweetness there, the look on his face....soooo tender and romantic!

Anonymous said...

Salaams Pixie,
This is truly a beautiful post that gives a better understanding of the Prophet sws to those who are misinformed.Thanks a lot. Bianca I agree with you about the pic its so sweet, they are both looking into eachothers eyes sweetness!

-Habeeba

ChocolateandWoolens said...

Salam Aleikum

Not to nitpick, but Judaism actually does limit the number of wives a man can have. Most people who are not Jewish don't know this, but in addition to the Torah (the 5 books of Moses, the Prophets and Writings), Jews hold another set of books to be holy. The books, knows as the Talmud, are the Oral Tradition of Jewish law that was written down between 300 and 500 CE. The Talmud sets down HOW Jews are supposed to implement Biblical commandments, and you can't really understand Judaism without understanding them. I think they are similar to Hadiths in Islam.

So there are examples in the Torah like King Solomon who had many wives. But the Oral Law says the he was, essentially, a special case and a man can not have more than 4 wives, and then he must be able to provide for all of them.

The history gets even more complicated! In around the year 1000, Rabbi Gershom, who was a very important European Rabbi decreed that men were not allowed to have more than one wife. This is because, at that time, in Christian Europe, polygamy was becoming less acceptable and normal. Jewish law requires that if we live among other nations who keep different laws than us, then they should not be stricter than ours. So because Christian Europe became stricter about marriages, not allowing man to have more than one wife, Jews living in Christian Europe had to become stricter too. The ban of Rabbi Gershom (called a cherem) was supposed to last for 1000 years. After it expired in 1944, it was renewed. All Jews whose roots lie in Eastern Europe follow this ruling, so there have not been polygamous marriages among European Jews for over a millenium.

However, Jews from the Middle East (Syria, Iraq, Iran, Morocco, Yemen, etc.) did not follow Rabbi Gershom's ruling because among the nations they were living (Muslim nations) polygamy was still acceptable. So some Jews from this area did have multiple wives, but no more than four. When a lot of those Jews moved to Israel in 1948, the Israeli government allowed existing polygamous marriages to be legally registered, but outlawed the creation of new ones. So as those last Jews who made polygamous marriages in the Middle East before 1948 die off, there will be no more polygamous marriages created.

Ok, sorry for typing so much.

ahsya said...

Amazing post, thanks for doing such a truly beautiful beating back of all those disgusting and horrifying accusations!

Anonymous said...

That was amazing: ) I never heard many of those bad things but hearing them now makes me so angry I'm very glad that I read this and know what to tell people when they say something so uneducated... good job : D and the picture is so great they look so in love :D

Muslim Girl said...

Thank you for this much needed post! I especially like how you made the comparison to Marie Antoinette, and how she too also married young :)